Does blogging make you selfish?

Hello sweet peas,

I've asked myself several times: Does blogging make you selfish? I don't have a definitive answer yet, but maybe I'll have one worked out by the end of this post. I write to work my thoughts and feelings out and it has always been this way.

So much of blogging is about sharing of myself - my outfit posts, my opinions - and doing so on several different platforms as different people respond to different things. Some people might like to keep up with my life on Instagram as a photo tells an instant story, some might like my Twitter feed for the  photos & links to things that make me tick, and others might like to immerse themselves in the blog for the full whammy of text and photos. I share a lot of my life on Instagram, my blog auto-posts a link to Twitter & my Just Me Leah Facebook page, and when I remember I share my posts to Tumblr and Pinterest manually. It all takes time, not just to share my posts, but to share interesting things as well and to personalise things a little bit so I'm not just machine-gunning the same information at people on every social media channel.

In the past being a good blogger didn't always leave me enough time to be a good person. I wasn't left with as much time as I wanted to read other people's blogs, check up on my friends/family and generally be a well rounded person (if you'll excuse the pun.) A chronically ill life requires a lot of self care, a lot of sleep, and a lot of time decompressing from the world by being alone with my thoughts. I was only adding to the pressure by treating my blog as an invisible taskmaster brandishing a whip.

I'm getting close to answering my own question now. It's all about priorities, isn't it? In the past I always put the blog first to my own detriment. I don't know why I have this harsh work ethic, but I always have done. Whatever I do I put my all into, even if I half kill myself in the process. Part of being older is realising I'm worth taking care of, and no one wants to read the blog of a frazzled woman anyway. In the past, if I was going on holiday or even going away for the weekend I'd bust a gut to schedule posts for the duration, but now I think 'Sod it!' If I'm having a busy weekend with family or friends I might not post anything for a few days and although I might feel a few pangs of regret, I won't spend the whole time worrying. Not any more!

I read blogs every evening as I really enjoy it but I don't read every post by every person and I certainly don't comment on every one. I used to follow too many blogs out of FOMO (fear of missing out) but I got over that and unfollowed a lot of people and I feel better for it. Away from the blog side of things, I do feel selfish if I've not checked in on my special people on social media for a few days, but there's only so much you can do in a day. My load is relatively small compared to that of others - there's the flat and my husband to look after, and my own well-being of course - which brings me back to the importance of balance. I would say if being a blogger is detracting from your quality of life then it really IS time to take a step back and consider what is most important to you. This applies to any situation in life, of course.

Being more relaxed about my blogging and blog reading habits leaves me more time to catch up on my favourite bloggers and comment on their blogs. It leaves me more time to leave thoughtful replies to the comments I receive on my blog. It gives me more time to think about content. It leaves me more time to check up on my friends and to call my family. It leaves me more time to be happy. There is so much more joy in doing something because I want to, rather than because I have to.

I've long thought that if my blog got really successful and my social media went nuts I'd hate it, as I love to reply to genuine comments on all my social media, and not being able to do so would really stress me out. So perhaps the answer to my question is yes, blogging does make you a little selfish, but only in a way so that you work out what's really important to you, and for me it's all about balance and priorities. If there's a moral to this story, it's don't make any one thing rule your life, no matter what it is.

Your thoughts?

Thanks for reading,
Leah xoxo

P.S. I've been kind of shying away from opinion posts recently as Fibromyalgia makes it so difficult for me to get my point across. I never have problems getting the words to come - that's never been a problem. It's whittling them down so they make sense that is the trouble. If you've been reading a long time you might know that it's always been my aim to be an author one day, and I'm constantly rattling plot lines around in my head, but in many ways Fibromyalgia is my Kryptonite.

Before I deleted my MySpace ages ago I re-read some of my old blogs from the mid 2000s and wanted to weep. It appears my grasp of vocabulary and even the ability to punctuate and spell is being taken away from me incrementally, and it's endlessly frustrating. Brain fog is a bastard of a thing, and I long for the days when I didn't have to spend ages proofreading my own writing to make sure I haven't made clangers with my spelling or punctuation. I had a grammar school education FFS. My words have always been my tool, and now it feels like that tool is in need of a bloody good sharpen! This has been a pity party. ;) Thanks for listening.

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