I want to talk about the dark side of being a plus size blogger - the harassment I get from men all across the internet. I have been contacted by men thinking with their dicks on every branch of social media I'm on. In fact I don't know of a solitary female plus size blogger who hasn't been subjected to the same kind of crap as I have.
I'm a plus size blogger, but a lot of men seem to get that confused with other things. Like this muppet, who thought my blog's Facebook page was really Plenty of Fish. But the difference with dating agencies is you elect to put yourself on them. By virtue of being in the public eye in the tiniest way, men constantly assume I'm single and for the taking, like my whole life has been in some kind of suspended animation waiting for their dick to come along and boof, it rains poodles and candy and all is right with the world.
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| What the everlovin' fuck? |
- I'm not free porn for those too lazy to download it.
- I'm not looking for attention from men.
- I'm not fishing for compliments from men.
- I don't seek male validation - the only male opinions I value are those of my husband, my dad, my brother, my step dad and a few male friends.
- I don't share photos of myself for the appreciation of men - I do that to celebrate my own body after years of being told it's something to be ashamed of, and to uplift and inspire other women to love their bodies.
- I'm not a fetish. I'm a body type.
- I'm not a BBW.
- I'm not desperate because I'm fat.
- I'm not single.
- I'm not a commodity to be bought.
- I'm not down for being contacted by DM or email by men who assume because they fancy me or because I'm fat my thighs will miraculously fall apart in delight and anticipation.
- I'm not the person you think I'll be when you email me with 'I'm Bob, 36 from Glasgow' because I'm not some prize you can win by throwing a few sentences at me.
- I'm not a person who should have to prove I'm married for men to leave me alone.
- NOTHING I do with my blog or social media is for men, except this post. Now piss off.
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| Awwwwwww, now the other one is jealous! |
- I'm the woman who posted a shot of her bum clad in underwear for 3 men on Instagram to say exactly the same thing: 'I want to eat that ass'.
- I'm the woman followed on Twitter by men who put me in Twitter lists like 'Mature BBW' and 'Big Butt BBW' so they can categorise their spaff material. They reblog my fully clothed photos amongst women with their tits and vaginas out . They also tend to tweet me to tell me what they think of my body. I. DON'T. CARE.
- I'm the woman DM'd on Instagram by men who start with 'Hi' and end up with dick about 3 badly-composed, txt spk sentences later.
- I'm the woman whose body is automatically sexualised by idiots because they fetishise fat bodies and collect fat women on their social media like Pokemon cards.
- I'm the woman that when a man I don't know DMs me with 'Hi' who ALWAYS wants to reply 'I'm married, let's not waste anyone's time here.' No one DM's a woman to talk about the weather, you know.
- I'm the woman who has cut my head off lingerie photos before because if seedy fat girl collectors repost my photo to disgusting places then at least my head isn't in it.
- I'm the woman who wants to post more of my body to help other women but knows the more I do, the more unsolicited and unwanted attention I'll get from men.
- I'm the woman who had some dude on Tumblr offer to send me serious amounts of money to buy clothes with so I could model them just for him, even though he knew I was married.
- I'm the woman with a lot of fat friends on social media and I see men copying and pasting the same thoughtless comments on ALL our bodies. Cast the net wide, yeah?
- I'm the woman who receives requests to dress up in certain ways like I'm their personal fat Barbie doll.
- I'm the woman who had a douchebag message me through my blog Facebook page who, when I told him I was married said 'So what?!' then offered to speak to my husband on Skype to tell him how much he liked me. (Yes, really).
- I'm the woman that a man think it's acceptable to send me a message that just says 'Sex'.
- I'm the woman who shouldn't have to put up with this shit to blog my outfits, to put myself out there to try to make other women feel better about themselves.
- I'm the woman who if I wasn't already married would definitely be batting for my own team because what I've seen of men on the internet in the last 5 years has turned my stomach. *Bonus - first one to say 'Not all men' gets a violent kick to the perineum.
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| At least he was polite, but I'm no one's fat Barbie doll! |
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| Nah thanks, mate. |
I know there are some decent men out there, it's just that the stupid ones make themselves known so often.
You should also go read Charli's post Plus size, naked and fetishised.
Ladies, share your horror stories below.
Leah xoxo
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